I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
