don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
