3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
