So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
it's like iHOP with fire
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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