my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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