I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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