Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
