considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
