So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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