Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
