No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
