you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My vagina just recognized that song.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
