Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He has the fingertips of a God
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