her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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