he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
4 words: hood of his car
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
