So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
