Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
