; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
