Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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