our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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