Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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