i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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