that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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