need another drink. this is the easiest way
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
