Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
