My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
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