If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
