in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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