Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
