So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
