If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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