wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
