i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
