batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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