what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
