If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
