What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
