We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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