You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
