I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
