the condom got lost in my hair
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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