well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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