You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
