my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
