I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
