DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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