the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
