I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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