god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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