I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
