$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
