Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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