she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
