words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
