My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
