this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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