You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
