Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
