im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
