I can tuck mytits in my pants
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
