I want to have your abortion
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
